Tales of the Toilet

There are occasionally situations in our family where I hold my head high, claim whichever of the children have not embarrassed me, and proudly stalk off - leaving the riff raff behind.
The riff raff of course, being the Rooster and whichever of the kids he's led astray!


Tubby has one of those voices which carries. It's a little higher pitched than anyone else's voice, it's quite loud and it seems to bounce off all surrounding structures and echoes long and loud. When Tubby speaks, you can't help but hear him, and usually what he has to say is well worth listening to!

We occasionally visit distant family members in far off cities (alright, so we catch a flight to Brisbane now and then!) It's usually crazy at the airport - kids running in all directions, baggage flying off the trolley which the Rooster insists on stacking with precision and delicate balance, and a panic to make it to check in on time so we can wander aimlessly for hours afterwards until the flight boards.
The Rooster struggles a little with these family outings, and seems to shift moods regularly from overwhelmed and crazed loner with multiple children following him as he weaves wildly through the crowd with his trolley; to doting and focussed Dad trying to amuse the children and keep them entertained, usually by making them laugh.

On one particular outing he parked the luggage trolley and headed for the men's room. Once the boys noticed that Dad was obviously going somewhere fun and exciting, they also needed the toilet, of course. And so they ran off after him, and once he'd accepted that his private and quiet moment alone with the urinal had turned into a small circus, he stepped boldly into Dad-mode and they disappeared from my sight.

I waited quietly for their return, and was relieved to see the door swing open and the male members of my family emerge, seemingly in great spirits. They were obviously sharing some private joke, and given it involved what goes on in the men's rest rooms, I was content to enjoy their smiles and know no more.

Alas. Remember that loud voice I mentioned, belonging to Tubby?
He was beside himself with laughter, and was still a good 10 metres away from me when he could not wait a moment longer.
"Mum! Muuum!" he shouted to me, while about 92% of the passengers in the Melbourne airport also turned their attention to him. He seemed to swell in the attention of so many on-lookers and his voice became even more audible than usual.

"We were peeing in the toilet, and Dad told me to pull his finger. I did - and HE FARTED!!!!!" and he collapsed into a pool of giggles again.

I suspect the Rooster turned all shades of red because when we rejoined him a significant time later he was still a shade similar to a steamed lobster. But I cannot know for certain - because I was gone before he clapped his hand over Tubby's mouth to prevent further truths escaping!