Arachnids on the Loose

Occasionally the entertainment comes not from the children, but from the adult sector. Usually it's a situation which is incredibly NOT funny at the time, but as emotions fade and we are able to look back on the incident objectively, it becomes ridiculously silly. And we laugh. At ourselves.

My sister and I spend quite a bit of time together now we live near. She was kind of my hero, growing up, because she always seem so much older and wiser than I, and was capable of handling things that were still far off to me. Belle was always ahead of me, at a place I longed to be.

Belle has birthed 2 gorgeous children and continues to tame them daily. She has worked in the outback, travelled overseas, competed in equestrian events, assisted foaling mares through long cold nights and a whole pile of other things for which I admire her.

But she is very very scared of big hairy spiders.

So you can imagine her reaction when, driving into town one day recently, her 4 year old daughter Bear calmly announced "Mummy, there's a spider" and edged a little further towards the back of her seat, while pointing to that "spot" right above Belle's right shoulder.

Did you know that technically there is no such thing as a "blind spot" when it comes to spiders and my sister? Certainly a motor vehicle travelling in the exact same spot, out of her line of vision, would be unseen, because one's head simply cannot twist far enough behind to make visual contact.
But place a giant hairy spider in much the same location - INSIDE the car - and suddenly the head and neck become able to spin and twist the full 360 degrees.

I believe Belle's head did exactly that, as she threw the Rav 4 down a gear, swung to a safe spot on the road to stop, slammed on the brakes and leapt from the car with her two children safely wrapped in her arms whilst simultaneously making a half-hearted attempt to swipe at the hairy monster slowly advancing on her bare neck.

Perhaps the only mistake Belle made, to this point, was to loose sight of the Spider as it hit the floor and scurried somewhere to a safe hiding place inside the car.

Her next mistake was more obvious.

She rang me. And asked for help.

If there is only one thing I truly outshine my sister in, it is in my fear of giant hairy spiders. I am terrified of them. Creepy, crawly, hideous creatures with long, scurrying hairy legs and no predictability. I have goose bumps just typing about them!
Exactly WHAT kind of help Belle thought she'd get from me, I am not sure - but I responded to the call of distress. My sister was stranded on the side of the road, with 2 small children beside her and a beast of a spider lurking in her car.

I did what any hero of the moment could do - made a strong coffee, grabbed a huge can of Mortein and drove as quickly as possible to the rescue.
Where I handed over the coffee and bug spray, and locked myself in my (spider free) car with the children!!!

When it became obvious Belle required more of me than caffeine and chemicals, I settled all the children in my car for a picnic. (And by picnic I meant a quiet and elegant sharing of chocolate biscuits and water, seated on the floor of the People Mover. By picnic the children apparently thought I meant squash as many biscuits as possible into the car interior and then add water, thus creating a chocolate-biscuit-mud-sludge.) And I climbed out to offer further assistance.

What a sight we must have been for passers-by.
A Rav 4 parked precariously on the very edge of the road, doors thrown open and assorted bags, car seats, strollers, DVDs and toy boxes up-ended on the road side. One giant can of bug spray between two well-dressed and made-up women, who alternatively sprayed wildly into the car then leapt back and watched with hawk-eyes for the tiniest hint of movement.

Of course with a giant hairy GREY spider inside a GREY car with GREY interior it was never going to be easy.

With occasional back-up and support from Bean (Belle's ever-encouraging husband who is to be commended on his ability to NOT laugh over the phone at us when we called to update.Which is more than can be said for the Rooster, who I believe mumbled "It's just an effing spider, get over it" and went back to sleep. Admittedly he'd just finished a 12 hour night shift when I woke him in the height of excitement to inform him of the Spider Situation) we continued and refined our Emergency Response of Spray - Leap Back - Watch for some time.

Not once did it cross our mind to assume the Spider was, by now, drowned in the fumes of the bug spray and would therefore be terrorising us no more. Not a mention of climbing back into the car and heading into town for a spot of shopping or a strong coffee. No - Belle thought the hairy intruder had likely made his way into the DVD player which was conveniently located ......... directly beneath the driver's seat!!!!

Quitting was therefore not an option. We would continue until the arachnid was sighted, destroyed and removed ................ and even then I wasn't not sure I wanted to ride in their car ever again.

And so we continued the spectacle, much to the delight of morotists driving by. Spray, Leap Back, Watch. Over and over. With some cheers of encouragement from the children. We varied the routine a little by Belle spraying on one side of the car and me watching on the other - an arrangement I was more than happy to continue seeing as it meant the hairy invader would need to crawl across the car floor BEFORE he could launch his hairy, scuttling giant body at me and attack me.

It took a long time, and finally, just as I'd shut my eyes to beg for some Divine Intervention in locating and removing The Spider, Belle squealed "Here it is!". Before I could respond the Rav 4 shook and rocked with heavy blows, and a cloud of bug spray mist enveloped it completely.

"Got it!" Belle cried, and we all cheered.

And gingerly replaced all items to their previous locations within the car, headed to town for that strong coffee .................... and both became the proud new owners of a full house and car's worth of spray treatment to keep spiders at bay!!!!!!!!!!

We heart Mortein!