Really, you'd think we'd have learnt years ago, when Bah! was a little guy. We were invited to my brother's house for dinner, to share a special meal with his family, my mother and a special guest who had traveled some distance to speak at a local church. She was very much the guest of honour for the meal, and since she was a generation ahead of me, I was anxious to offer her all the respect and hospitality she deserved.
As a special touch, I thought it might be nice for one of the children to say grace before we ate. And since our one and only son at that stage was the centre of our universe, I was quietly chuffed that he volunteered enthusiastically to give thanks. Publicly.
In hindsight, that should have been my first warning sign.
Anyway, my sister in law and I rounded up our clean, groomed and well dressed children and ushered them to the dinner table. We served their meals, and waited for the adults to be seated. Bah was whinging about wanting a drink but in true "perfect mother" style, I smiled sweetly at him and gently suggested he wait until he'd eaten some dinner.
He nagged a little more and I smiled a little more, and repeated myself through teeth more clenched than smiling now. And I suggested he say grace now, so we could all start eating.
He glared at me, furrowed his brow a little and closed his eyes (perhaps my second warning) . As did our dinner companions, including our special guest. He paused for a moment to concentrate on speaking clearly (while I silently cheered inside that I was raising such a mature and grateful member of society who was confident speaking publicly at the age of 4)
"Thankyou God" he said "For this dinner. And for our family and friends. (a little more inner cheering from me.) Thankyou for this meat. And the potato. And the peas and pumpkin. (I was tempted to take a peek at our dinner guest to be sure she was hearing all this and fully comprehending just how thorough my boy was in being thankful.) And thankyou God, for our drinks. Even though WE HAVEN'T EVEN BLOODY GOT THEM YET AMEN!"
So, like I said, you'd think I'd have learnt long ago to say the grace myself. But it's such a good habit to develop, expressing gratefulness for the meal before you. And it provides regular amusement for the Rooster and I, as we compete to choke back our laughter and encourage our children in their earnest prayers.
Tonight was Pant's turn. Pants likes grace to done in a particular way, with everyone following his instructions to the letter. This means eyes closed, heads down and hands clasped. And silence. Total silence. All very formal.....except he then proceeds to have a very casual, laid back chat with God which can go on indefinitely.
Tonight he issued his usual instructions and waited til we all assumed our correct positions. He began to pray :
Thankyou Father for this very yummy delicious meal Mum has made for us. *pause* I hope it's delicious anyway. *sideways suspicious glance at me* (At this point the Honey Girl decided she preferred to hold hands than clasp them in front of her so she reached over to grab hold of Pant's hand. He paused again, shook his hand free and took a breath. She reached over again and grabbed him, so he shook a little harder and glared at her. She began to explain that she wanted to hold hands but was silenced by another glare and him gruffly stating she was to clasp her hands. He waited til she had resumed her correct position, took a deep breath and continued his prayer) Sorry about that God, I'm back. That was just the Honey Girl................................. Please let our sausages and vegetables be yummy. (the older boys have a quiet snigger at Pant's apology to God) And please tell me what the boys are laughing at right now. Because my eyes are closed and I can't see. *Pause* (At this point I'm not sure if God actually told Pants what they were laughing at or not - but I suspect the older boys thought this is exactly what happened because while I quietly cried tears of laughter, my older sons stilled instantly and sat quietly) Anyway, thanks for this dinner.
And by the way God, did you know if you spell your name backwards, it says dog?! D-O-G. It's true! Just in case you didn't know. Amen.
Maybe it's time they learnt "For what we are about to receive ......."?!!
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