The Bible Like You've Never Seen It Before!

Recently I've had to speak to Pants about vandalism and graffiti. It's one thing to colour the mouths of magazine models in black so they appear to be missing all their teeth. But drawing in your brother's picture Bible and changing the stories with your additions is not acceptable .... and it's really hard for your mother to discipline you when she's almost choking in an attempt to hold her laughter back!
It seems comedic creativity is a strong point for Pants - if we find a more suitable outlet. Who would have imagined that odd random thoughts, a Bible and a blue pen would be such an amusing combination?!

So here it is folks - the newly improved Toddler's Picture Bible, with added detail and aspects of your favourite stories that I bet you never knew!


Daniel in the Lion's Den
Daniel was thrown into a den of lions! Except some of them were not actually lions.....they were reindeer! And lions with giant noses.



The Christmas Story
Mary and Joseph stayed at an inn in Bethlehem, where they had a very special baby, named Jesus. Except it's all very confusing with these camels and sheep and donkeys and reindeer and Rudolphs and Santas and Marys and Josephs. How is a 6 year old supposed to fit them all into one story?
Well, the secret behind it all is -
Mary and Joseph WERE reindeer. See?





The Wise Men
The Wise Men saw a special bright star in the sky and so they followed it. It was going to lead them to a new king. Except it turns out it was moving because it was a falling star, and it fell. Right onto the Wise Man's head. And he fell off his camel and was dead with a star in his head. He wasn't so wise after all.


Blind Bartimaeus
Bartimaeus's eyes didn't work properly and he could not see. Jesus healed him and then he could see! Bartimeaus was so excited to be able to see - he jumped up and down and cheered.
And a chocolate fell out of his mouth and on to the ground, and Jesus had to bend down and pick it up.


Jesus and Mary
Jesus and Mary were friends. When Jesus came to show Mary He was alive again, she was excited. And she wanted to hypnotise Him, so she started saying "You are *compwetewy* under my controooolllll".... but you can't hypnotise Jesus, so it bounced off Him and got the cat that was standing behind them. And now the cat is *compwetewy* under Mary's controoooool.